Untouched by death.
Q2. I am scared of dying.
Traktung Rinpoche: That is to bad.
Q1. I do not feel scared of dying.
Traktung Rinpoche: That is to bad.
Q1. Why? It seems to me that to not be scared of dying is part of the spiritual path.
Traktung Rinpoche: It is but you have most certainly not come to that part of the path and so your lack of fear must have some other origin. Sadly that other origin is your lack of love. If you truly loved anything you would not want to be separate from it. You are not invested in life, you are aloof and you have built a spiritual ego from this aloofness. You have not matured enough to enter life let alone go beyond it.
Q1. You also said that is to bad when he said he is scared to die. Why’s that?
Traktung Rinpoche: It would be wonderful if he came to the authentic transcendence of death and its fear. You are like a man who hearing someone high up on a ladder say they are scared of heights says, from the ground, “I am not scared of heights.” Yours is a false transcendence his is an actual fear so it is better. You need to climb the ladder a bit and then you will understand why he is scared. He is scared because he is very high up, almost to the roof, just on the edge but what if he dies before reaching. How does he know he will have this chance again – his Life is precious, he has made it very very precious and does not want to lose it before it has born the fruit. Your life is yet to begin really. You exist but you are not alive. Because of this you don’t feel it to be precious and so you are not scared of losing it. You wish us to think you say this lack of fear because you are so advanced but such pretentions simply reveal the truth of your state.
Q1. You will also die. This body of yours will die. Do you ever feel scared of this?
Traktung Rinpoche: I am already dead as a doornail. Dead, the coffin nailed shut and buried in the graveyard of intrinsic space. I am nothing, not this body, this mind, these actions, none of these, nothing so what do I have to fear. The flattery called birth does not sway me and the insult called death will not touch me.
I listened with great care to my Guru. I imbibed his words. I drank them down. When I heard my Guru speak I was so moved this body, without any thought, lay itself down on the floor and put its head on his feet. The dust of his feet was to me the most precious nectar. I buried my life under his feet and so I gave up worry. I followed his advice and it bore exactly the fruit he said it would.
It used to be I looked and looked for this blessing called realization and it slipped away over the edge of the horizon. Now I look and look for this thing called “me” and there is not even the shadow of left on the twilight’s edge. When I discovered that this Nothingness was in fact the stronghold of my indentitylessness I was most amazed. Here, just as Loa Tzu said, there is no place for rhinos to put their horns or tigers their claws. Where name and form are left behind what will kill who?
You do not want to give up your desires and the children of your desires called concepts. Where there is desire there is fear. Because I am content being nothing I am quite safe wherever I travel. Because you have name and form and desires you are somewhat vulnerable no matter how you try to protect yourself. Because the self is intrinsically threatened – due to being non existent and posing as existent – there is always anxiety.